|Hi there! My name is Esmarelda. I am an M Farmall. Most M Farmall’s are male, but I happen to be a female. We have to keep the species alive you know! I was born in 1946 at International Harvester. I was loaded onto a freight car and sent to a little town in Tennessee. I remember setting on the dealer’s lot for several months. Money was scarce and hard to come by back then. Then one day, a nice young fellow came by and took a big long look at me! He kicked my tires and rubbed my hood! He had just returned from his tour of duty with the Navy in World War II. I remember him asking the salesman, “How much do you want for her?” The salesman said well let’s sit down and talk for a while. He told this young fellow that since he was a veteran, that he could have his choice of any tractor on the lot. Veterans had first pick of anything! Well, they talked for a while and the young fellow came back around. He sat down on my seat and said, “Well let’s see what she sounds like”! That’s when he hit my “G spot” (my starter button). I’d been sitting for a long time, but I was ready and willing to spring to life! He was a good looking young man! The starter began to turn over my crankshaft. I sensed that gasoline vapors were filling my cylinders. I heard the magneto pop, and here came a spark to my plug in my number one cylinder. Roar! I sprang to life! I was in ecstasy! All four of my cylinders were surging with power. I was ready to take on anything! Just give me a plow, a disc, a threshing machine, or anything! I’m ready to go to work!|
Well, this nice young man made a deal with the salesman. He bought me, a disc, and cultivators, all for 1500. 00. He told them to deliver us the next day. I can still remember seeing him standing there on his farm when we arrived. He was so happy! He said, “I can’t wait to try her out and see what she can do!” That’s when he gave me my name. From that time forward, I was called Esmarelda (Es-ma-relda)! I was on call on a daily basis for about the next twenty years. I pulled a plow, a disc, and cultivators, in the fields for many years. I also got to pull a threshing machine several times a year. We would haul it around from farm to farm and I’d pull that threshing machine with my pulley hooked up to a belt. I’d pull that thing as hard as I could! Sometimes, I’d get pretty tired after a long day. My pistons and cylinders started getting worn and I just didn’t have the get up and go that I used to have! Then one day I heard my owner say, “I just can’t make it at farming any longer”. Old Esmarelda needs to be overhauled and I just don’t have the money. He had to take a job at the local Co-op just to make ends meet. That is when he parked me in the barn. Every once in a while he would start me up and drive me around, but soon, my battery died. I must have sit there for twenty years.
One day, my owner’s son-in-law stopped by and took a look at me. He said, I wonder if this old gal will run? My owner said, “old Esmarelda hasn’t been started in a long time”. Well, he and my owner tied a chain to my front end and drug me around with another tractor for awhile, but I just didn’t have any life in me. The condenser and points in my magneto parts had rusted, my plugs were fouled, my valves were stuck, and my cylinders just couldn’t generate any compression. I was in poor condition.
A few days later, my owner’s son-in-law stopped by again. He had a box full of new parts. He put a new condensor and some new points into my magneto. He sprayed some kind of smelly penetrating lube into my valves and fiddled with them for a while. He put new plugs in my cylinder head. He installed a new rotor button, distributor cap, and plug wires. He put a new battery into my battery box along with new battery cables. He cleaned up all my electrical connections from my battery and starter to my headlights. He cleaned out all the gum from my gas tank and carburetor. He poured some fresh gasoline into my tank. He removed my old rusty muffler. I think I’m falling in love with this guy! He was like a chip off the old block. He kicked my tires and patted me on the hood. Then he said, “Well Esmarelda, I’m going to see if you will talk to me!”
He climbed into my seat and sat down. He put my transmission in neutral so I couldn’t resist his advances! He fiddled with my choke and wiggled my throttle. Boy, I started getting hot! Then like a bolt out of the blue, he stepped on my G-Spot! My starter began to turn my crankshaft and my cylinders started moving. I was sucking in fresh air and fuel! Just as my number one cylinder reached the top of my compression stroke, my magneto popped and shot a hot blue spark to my number one plug. Roar! What an orgasm! I am alive again! I am running bare naked without a muffler! My new owner is jumping up and down! He is saying, “I knew you could do it, Esmarelda!” I think I see a couple of tears in his eyes! I am roaring as loud as I can! I want everyone to know that I am back in business! I just happen to be two years younger than my new owner is. Neither one of us is a spring chicken, but we have a whole lot of life left in us! Now, I take my new owner up and down the road almost every day. I love this new guy! He says I am the sweetest thing that he has ever seen! He says that he is going to rebuild my engine and give me a new coat of paint when he gets his kids through college. I have been waiting for the past twenty years for a guy like this to pay attention to me! I guess I can wait a little longer for a complete restoration! That’s my story.
N. Smelcer, from TN, entered 2002-06-08